my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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