So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
