Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
