Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
