i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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