All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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