what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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