i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
