let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
