i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
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Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
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Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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