If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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