Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
vagina is talking i cant
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
