Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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