Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
