i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
