Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize