did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
