i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
