I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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