Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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