All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
