are you still at the devil's house?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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