I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize