Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
i need some magic done to my vagina
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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