I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
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So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
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I woke up with your vibrator in my face
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize