Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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