Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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