Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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