wake up i wanna do it froggy style
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
