No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We have started to decorate penises.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
