Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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