i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
