I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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