my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
