HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just pee around me
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
