he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize