YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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