you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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