Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
