that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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