So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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