I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
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