Define "chronic" masturbator.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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