Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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