i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
