Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
