I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize