My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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