I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
