so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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