Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
