he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
