okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
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Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
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We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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