giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
