Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize