P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize