i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
