I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
