saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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