time to smoke my breakfast
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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