): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
