its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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