That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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