Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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