Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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